Interview with Shakti
Gawain
by Veronica M. Hay
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Shakti Gawain is a best-selling author and internationally renowned speaker/workshop leader in the world consciousness movement. She is the author who made Creative Visualization a household word in the 1970's and popularized the concept of intuitive guidance in the 80's.Shakti has helped thousands of people learn to develop and act on their own intuition and creativity. She offers a new vision for resolving both the personal struggles and global crises of this decade in her book, The Path of Transformation: How Healing Ourselves Can Change the World. |
Veronica: I'd like to talk about forgiveness and unconditional love. How do we do it? How do we get there? For example, there have been times in my life when I have been very hurt by something someone has done, but I would strive to see them only in a positive light, to think good thoughts about them, because I know any negative feelings I might have toward them, would only hurt me. Yet, I would be so angry and hurt inside, that they did what they did. And it would be so painful and so paradoxical.Shakti: To me, this is an example of just a lot of, pardon the expression, "New Age Bullshit". It is like the whole idea that we are supposed to be unconditionally loving and forgiving all the time. It is a spiritual model that no human being can truly live up to without denying half of your personality. So, I don't think it is realistic or even desirable for people to think that they should be unconditionally loving and know how to give instantly. |
What's true is, that as human beings, we have emotional feelings and needs, and we have reactions and responses, and it can be very painful to be only stuck in those emotions, but denying them is not the answer. The answer is, to be real and to acknowledge what is true for you, and what you really feel, and allow yourself to feel it, and then to work through that. It is like, if someone hurts you, of course you are hurt, and you're also angry, and it's important to acknowledge the hurt and the anger, and you may need to express it to them, or you may need to express it to a friend, or you may need to write it out, or in some way allow yourself to really experience it, or express it in some way that works. It doesn't always work to express it to the person who did it to you, because they may not be able to hear you. But you really need to acknowledge and honor your feelings about things. And what happens is, that once you have allowed yourself your real feelings about things and really embrace those and acknowledge those, eventually they dissolve. When you have really experienced something, it dissolves, and you are left with a sense of peace and just naturally you will end up feeling forgiveness, once you've really gone through the whole process, but that sometimes might take years. It is not good, it is not healthy psychologically, to try to jump into forgiving somebody, when you haven't gone through the other feelings. |
Veronica: I suppose it's not good to analyze your feelings or try to work through them, for example, saying to yourself "Well, I'm probably reacting this way because of what happened to me when I was younger".Shakti: Well, that can be helpful. Actually, to understand why you're having as much of a reaction as you are, and it can be very helpful to get therapy, or to get support, to help you understand why you recreate certain patterns, because we all do that. We recreate patterns in our life based on what happened to us as children, as we tend to keep inflicting the same wounds on ourselves, but, it is an attempt to heal it. So, my feeling is, that if you find that there is a pattern like that in your life, it is helpful to look at it, and to get help from somebody who understands this kind of thing, and who can help you look at it, but not from the point of view of trying to immediately forgive and be unconditionally loving. But, from the point of view of fully allowing yourself to have the feelings you were never allowed to have and that's where healing takes place. On a spiritual level, we already are unconditionally loving and always will be, but on a human personality level, we aren't, and we shouldn't expect ourselves to be, because that is not the way the human personality works. Too many people in the New Age are trying to transcend their human experience and just be spiritual, but if you want to be in a physical body and live on the earth, you have to have a personality and you have to understand that the human personality works to take care of you and protect you in this life. So, it's just completely ridiculous and unrealistic for human beings to try to live up to some transcended model of being totally always loving and forgiving and so on. That stuff happens naturally, when you allow yourself to feel your feelings, and be who you are. You naturally are a loving forgiving person, but you also can be an angry person, or a hurt person sometimes.Veronica: You state in your book The Path of Transformation that our inner conflicts are frequently reflected in conflicts we experience in our personal relationships. We literally project our unconscious inner conflicts into our external environment. When they are mirrored back to us in difficulties with other people, or difficulties accomplishing some of the things we want in our lives, we thereby create the possibility of becoming more aware of these inner conflicts and healing them. So, if a person wants to be successful and they keep running into blocks... |
Shakti: Whenever you think you want something and it isn't happening, since our life is a reflection of our consciousness, if you think you want something, but it's not happening externally, then you've got to look inside to find out what part of you is not wanting that. Or, what part of you is blocking that, and why, because there is always a good reason. So, if you think you want to be successful and you're aware of wanting to be successful, but you keep sabotaging yourself in some way, then the thing you need to do is look inside and get in touch with, and you may need to get some help to do this, but the idea is to get in touch with any part of yourself that doesn't want to be successful, or is afraid of that, and find out why, because there is always a reason. And in these kinds of situations, there is always some part of us that is sabotaging, not because it's bad or wrong or anything, but because it's afraid. For example, for a lot of people who want to be financially successful in the world, the child part of them, the inner child, may be sabotaging that, because it feels that if you grow up and be successful out there in the world, it's going to give up its chance of ever being a child and getting its needs met. If you didn't get your needs met when you were a child, the child in you keeps hoping that somehow, somebody is going to come along and be a good parent to you. But if you become a really successful grown up adult person, powerful in life, the child feels like, well nobody is ever going to take care of me. Do you see what I am saying? |
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