Interview with Shakti
Gawain
by Veronica M. Hay
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Shakti Gawain is a best-selling author and internationally renowned speaker/workshop leader in the world consciousness movement. She is the author who made Creative Visualization a household word in the 1970's and popularized the concept of intuitive guidance in the 80's.Shakti has helped thousands of people learn to develop and act on their own intuition and creativity. She offers a new vision for resolving both the personal struggles and global crises of this decade in her book, The Path of Transformation: How Healing Ourselves Can Change the World. |
Veronica: So, we need to go inside and talk to the child?Shakti: And find out what he or she is needing and feeling, and don't just try to get rid of it either. Really acknowledge it. Okay, this is what you need. So then, you have to find out how you can satisfy that child's needs enough, by getting enough love and support, and so on, so that it will then support you in being able to move forward in being powerful.Veronica: And we could do that with all different aspects of our life? |
Shakti: Yes, for example, in my situation, in my life, for years and years and years, lots of good things were happening. I was successful in almost every way, except I really wanted a good relationship with a man, and I didn't have that. I had a lot of relationships, but they weren't so great. And I kept feeling like, I want this, why isn't it happening? Well, finally, I was able to get in touch with another part of me that didn't want it, that was afraid of it, that was afraid that if I got in a committed relationship, I would lose my independence, I'd lose my freedom, I'd start giving myself away, caretaking the other person, because that's my tendency in relationships. So, that other part of me was blocking me from having the relationship, only I didn't know that. I was totally unconscious of that, but it's what was happening. So, when I was able to look within myself, really honestly, and get in touch with what these conflicting forces inside of me were - that one part of me wanted a relationship and the other part didn't - and it was actually stronger, even though I couldn't feel it, because that's what was happening - I wasn't having a real relationship. I was having one with men who weren't really available, or who weren't willing to commit. It was my own lack of commitment, really. Once I saw that, and I was able to dialogue using that voice dialogue process, I was able to dialogue with the part of me that didn't want a relationship, and find out why it felt that way, and what it would need in order to be able to support me in having the relationship, it all shifted around and I met my husband. |
Veronica: That's amazing!Shakti: Right, so whenever there's a conflict going on in your life externally or something that you want isn't happening, you have to really look deeply at what your unconscious conflicts are inside.Veronica: I also find the concept of mirroring really fascinating, if not sometimes confusing. To give an example, suppose there is a specific person in your life and there is something about them that really bugs you. Perhaps they are really outgoing and they have to be the centre of attention all the time and loud and you are quiet and introverted and this just drives you crazy. Is that there because there is a part of you that would like to be more like them?Shakti: Exactly. And it doesn't mean that you want to be as extreme as that person necessarily. That person may be acting that out in an extreme way or a distorted way, so it's not like you want to be somebody who just grabs attention all the time or anything. But yes, if you are a quiet kind of person or a very considerate sensitive kind of person who would never take attention if you thought it would be a problem for anyone or anything like that. There's usually another side of you that is saying. "Hey I really would like more attention or I'd like to feel that I could stand up and say what I need or feel." We feel uncomfortable about that. It's not a part that we've really learned to express or develop, so we feel judgment when we see it in someone else. Whenever you feel really judgmental towards somebody or a lot of emotional reaction to somebody, it always has some reflection of something that you don't accept in yourself.Veronica: What I find confusing about that is when you see a negative thing in someone, for example, I used to work with someone who was forever doing lunch, doing dinner, etc and things just weren't getting done, and I felt like they weren't being responsible. Does that mean, I'm not responsible? |
Shakti: No, no, it means you're too responsible. You see, if you see somebody who you have a reaction to, usually it's because they're the opposite of the way you are and you need a little bit of that opposite kind of energy to balance yourself out. You're probably super responsible and super hard working and that's good and you don't want to not be that way but maybe you're overboard in that direction and maybe it would be good for you to have a little bit more of a quality that could just sort of have fun and be a little bit more flamboyant and maybe take care of yourself a little better and not worry quite so much about what everybody else wants from you or something like that. Does that make sense?Veronica: Yes.Shakti: And remember, I'm not saying you want to go totally in the opposite direction of the way you are. You just want to move a little bit more toward the middle. We all have certain qualities we've developed in life and those have served us very well and they're an important part of our personality, but we are all a little imbalanced too. Like I'm too serious, I'm too responsible, I'm too hard working, so I can meet somebody whose more playful and less responsible and I can either be attracted to them, because I recognize there is a part that I need, or I can be very judgmental of them. Either way, it's showing me that there is a quality in her that I need more of. |
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