Here's a quick quiz:
1) Is your day filled with activities that consist of doing what
you love to do?
2) Does what you do enrich the life of at least one other person?
3) Are you well supported financially to do what you love?
If you answered these questions with a resounding yes, you
are one of the few people in the world that is fully manifesting
your genius. As such you are a true leader and we are blessed
to have your brilliant example in this world. As sincere and
well-meaning as many of us are, human beings are often so hampered
by lives filled with compromise, misplaced loyalties, insecurity,
and false beliefs, that the idea of fully expressing our genius
is little more than a wistful fantasy.
Why is it so scary for us to simply do what our hearts want
us to do? Why do we feel that we will not be supported emotionally
and financially if we were to express what is really great about
us? What blocks us from considering that the sole purpose for
our existence on this planet is to manifest the power, beauty,
and magnificence of who we are in essence? Could it be that we
are simply afraid? If that is the case, then all of our explanations,
rationalisations, and justifications for not doing what we love
would be mere excuses created from that fear. Working through
all those excuses would likely take more time than a human being
has in his or her life span - even if s/he eliminated sleep!
But what if we were to deal directly with the fear itself?
Then we would be called to confront the two basic fears in every
human being: fear of failure, and fear of success. In this article
I would like to focus on our fear of failure. When we are afraid
to fail, we are also afraid to make mistakes. When we are afraid
to make mistakes, we cannot learn. If we can't learn, we remain
ignorant, and thus in the firm grip of fear for the rest of our
lives. I discovered that to break through this conspiracy of
fear, three commitments are required: the commitments to honesty,
accountability, and humility.
The reason these commitments are so important is because
of the five traps that you might fall into if you fear failure
- they are the traps of:
- Lying (I didn't do anything. Don't tell anybody - they'll just
get upset).
- Denying (That's not a mistake; No problem, I just need more
money to recoup my losses; I don't know why that happened -it
has nothing to do with me).
- Justifying (I've just been so busy, I didn't have time to meet
those deadlines; I didn't know what I was getting into when I
made those promises to you, otherwise I would never have made
them).
- Blaming (It's because of the bloody tax laws! They're not fair;
You never pay attention to me, so I had to find someone else
who really cared!).
- Quitting (What's the use - I'll never make it).
Typically, you would fall into one or more of these traps
due to a belief that you will be punished for making a mistake
or failing. The practice of honesty, accountability, and humility
is an incredible risk in almost any culture in the world, most
of which practice dishonesty, crying "victim", and
holding on to righteousness. We assume our country's leaders
will lie in their campaign speeches and press releases. We pity
the victim in ourselves and others, keeping it weak, bitter,
and unaccountable. And we tend to believe that our point of view,
our religious philosophy, and our way of life is the right way,
thereby making all others wrong, or inferior, and filling ourselves
with an inauthentic power of the judge and jury. Without those
three commitments our genius remains trapped in the isolation
our fear
has created.
Let's imagine that you stated the intention to manifest your
leadership in this world, and honour the three commitments in
the process. This means that you would choose to express the
very best qualities in yourself, thereby enriching this world,
and that you would also choose to receive material support in
order to fulfil this purpose. If, in the process of fulfilling
this intention, you experienced serious failures and made costly
mistakes, you would face them honestly. You would not lie to
or deceive others, but acknowledge your fallibility defencelessly,
even if others became angry or critical. You would endure the
guilt and bring as much compassion and acceptance to your humanness
as you could.
You would not try to mask the mistakes by denying their existence
or the seriousness of their consequences. Instead you would see
them as necessary aspects of the learning process. You would
not attempt to shirk your accountability by throwing out justifications,
but rather would clearly account for what did not work, what
could be done better, what was learned from the mistakes and
failure, and what action is called for now. The righteousness
of blame, criticism, and judgement would not exist in you because
you would hold yourself responsible for the outcome of your efforts,
while at the same time, forgiving and accepting the inadequacies
and weaknesses in yourself and others as stepping stones to your
true power. And you would never quit because you could not abandon
your sole purpose for existence, which, quite simply, is the
only game in town!
Through those three commitments I have experienced actual
miracles of transformation in my relationship, parenting efforts,
work, financial
status, and creative projects. Of course, I have much more to
learn and am still experiencing more failures than successes,
but I have reached a point where I am seeing the seed of success
in every failure, and learning to trust the process of "failing
forward." Gradually my genius is emerging. I do not know
how many people will benefit from it, but I have seen the positive
effects on my children, and on a few of the people close to me.
On top of that, I can perceive and appreciate the genius in others
more and
more, and this fills me with hope.
I believe that first and foremost, a leader must be a living
example of what is truly possible for every human being, while
also expressing the foibles and frailties of what it is to be
human. When you express the very best aspects of yourself - your
gifts, talents and treasures - and are truly doing what you love
with all your heart, you are shining the light of possibility
for all people to see. And when you fall on your face, pick yourself
up with humility and good humour, and courageously take the next
step forward, you are also shining that light. You remind us
all that there is no mistake so great that it cannot be forgiven
and thereby become a part of what is truly great about you.
What we have called leadership up until now is largely a
fear-based notion of a position of power over us. We see the
leader standing at the top, or in the forefront, assuring us
that he or she knows what we do not know, and can lead us to
a better place. This leader is expected to have attributes of
moral purity, superior abilities, wisdom, maturity, and infallibility.
This kind of leader cannot help but disappoint us sooner or later.
But a person who is dedicated to bringing out his or her highest
qualities, and encouraging others to do the same without presuming
to tell anybody how that process of emergence is supposed to
look, is a true leader in this world.
Christopher Moon is an international
speaker, and trainer with over ten years of personal counseling
and group facilitation experience. His work has gained recognition
in Japan, Malaysia, Taiwan, the U.S. and Canada. The many thousands
of people who have experienced Christopher's non-interfering
approach to transpersonal development appreciate his gentle,
compassionate, and humourous style of facilitating experiential
human process. He is committed to the heartfelt belief in the
powers of intuition, intention, and imagination. If you can imagine
it, it becomes a possibility. If you commit your intention to
it, your intuition will guide you to making the possibility a
reality.
E-mail: visionmountain@shaw.ca
Phone: 250-825-0009 Toll-free: 1-888-337-0009
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By Christopher Moon